The latest news about our beloved Indonesian Da’i shocked me. You-know-who got married again, practicing polygamy.
“What’s wrong with that, Dear? Which part does bother you?” a friend of mine asked me.
Well, it is a sensitive matter. I believe that polygamy is halal in Islam and maybe suits for some cases, and a way out (the best from the worst). But I don’t think every capable man MUST do that. I strongly disagree if someone said it is a ‘sunnah’, better to do it. If it is advised, why did Mohammed (peace upon him) said ‘over my dead body’ (not literally like that, but similar) when Ali asked him to marry another girl than Fatimeh?
This matter really annoyed me and brought me into a loooooong discussion with Nino.
“I just wondered what his reason is? Just give me one good reason that satisfied me.”
“There is no good reason,” Nino said. “For nowadays practice, there is no other reason than sex.”
We both read Karen Amstrong’s Mohammad Biography and knew that his marriages after Khadija were practically for political reason.
Nino explained that for a powerful man, there is a psychological desire to have another wife (or wives). There are just two types of these men: the ones that legally hurt their wives and do the polygamy and the ones that cheat behind their wives’ back. Hem, he missed to state the ones that are faithful (maybe those are the rare ones? endangered species?)
“Ouw, will it happen to every man? Including you?” I insisted.
“To every powerful man, because they feel they are capable of doing that. This is just like evolutionary instinct.”
“So, what can woman do about that?”
He laughed. “I’m sorry Darling, but take your defeat. You can either prepare to be hurt or stop your man from being powerful.”
Argh, I can’t do neither of them. Pretty hard to choose, huh?
Uhm, what about choosing a husband very carefully? Will this do? Cause I still believe that there are a few good men, when they are (or they think they are) powerful enough to do polygamy, they choose to be faithful to their wives and keep their ‘birds’ in their pants.
Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Wise.
Please read a good explanation of this matter, here.